Growing up I was a sensitive, sensitive - did I mention sensitive - kid who lay under pianos, ruefully dissecting every single last word she said. Because there was always a girl, the kind of girl you take one look at and you die kind of girl, the kind of girl who all at once fills you with power, love, grit, yearning and, inexplicably, a desire that the world have more lilac in it. The kind of girl who makes it all okay, except for when she‘s smiling at that jerk, Alex Grady.

You know the kind of girl I'm talking about, yes? That first girl who tore you up inside and yet you liked it? Longing for her was almost a sport (‘Hey, let's go to the movies’ - ‘I can't, I'm longing for Clara tonight’), that first love, the one who comes up in therapy almost as much as your parents, yes? That one. 

So now, as you listen to this piece, think of that feeling, the feeling of that person, that first person to ever - beautifully - tie your stomach up in knots.